squeakersqueakin

... and it's got me. in my mind at least. i think that i'm not doing anything. i feel like whatever i do is insignificant and worthless. i no longer take courses in the hard sciences and i do not memorize names and dates apparently deemed important in history (i have really bad memory and wouldn't be able to remember even if i tried extra hard). i have NO interest whatever in politics and economics, i think they're mind-poison. my noob-ness when it comes to all of these things is a source of feelings of worthlessness and irrelevance and insignificance and idleness. i want to devour everything. i want my mind to be that omni-absorbent spong

... was... amazing... :ecstatic: met new and interesting people. tried new and exotic foods, drinks, etc. saw things i never thought i'd see. even my very first palm tree. i'm going back as soon as i can. i've just figured out that i'm meant to be inhabiting a warm climate. and i'm supposed to be tan. i look awful when i'm pale.

"something new." it seems we're never satisfied with what we have, and something new must periodically enter our lives in order to make us feel alive, or to save us from becoming dull. but if you find something wonderful then why must it ever be anything but wonderful? you're not new to me. i have had the pleasure of knowing you for over a year and a half now. of talking to you and sharing with you things intimate to you and me. and yet you've awakened this "fresh feeling" in me. not because you are new, but because i am now new with you...